Heartbreak usually isn’t bestowed upon me during football season until roughly week 19, when the Packers find some stupid way to lose a playoff game. 2017 is a different beast however, drilling the metaphorical knife into my heart in week six, when MVP Aaron Rodgers broke his collarbone ending his season. Now, with ten weeks remaining in the regular season, I’ll do my best to carry on and continue with weekly picks.
Last week:
Pick ‘Em: 5-9 (Worst week this season)
Spread: 5-9 (First, worst, and technically best of season)
Season:
Pick ‘Em: 50-41
Spread: 5-9
Bonus Bets:
If you took the time to read the whole column last week, you may have noticed two bonus bets I slid in the blurbs. One was taking the over on DET-NO and the second was taking the over on IND-TEN. Not to brag, but both were red hot picks and most importantly, both covered. So if you don’t believe in my picks at least believe in my bonus bets.
KC @ OAK
Last week I called out the Black Hole in Oakland saying, “The Black Hole won’t let Oakland lose four straight.” Spoiler alert: I was wrong. I also predicted Kansas City could remain undefeated and beat up Pittsburgh, also wrong. The Chief’s defense was bullied last week by Le’Veon Bell’s 179 yards while tallying only 28 rushing yards of their own. The script flips this week and Kareem Hunt runs over Beast Mode and the Oakland Raiders.
Pick ‘Em: Kansas City Chiefs
Spread: Kansas City Chiefs (-3)
NO @ GB
Before I pick this game I have a mini-rant: Brett Hundley is the starting quarterback and Joe Callahan is the back-up. No ifs, ands, or buts. I don’t want to hear how Colin Kaepernick could provide a spark for the Packers, or how Tony Romo can come out of retirement and lead a playoff push. The Packers committed to these two back-ups last year, and nothing is changing this year. Green Bay’s management dug this back-up quarterback grave, now we have to lay in it. End rant. The Saints shouldn’t have a problem with an injured defense and a back-up quarterback, I hope Brett Hundley proves me wrong.
Pick ‘Em: New Orleans Saints
Spread: New Orleans Saints (-5.5)
TEN @ CLE
Cleveland’s quarterback situation quite literally turned into a game of take-backsies. Kevin Hogan was named the starter under-center for week 6 and that’s exactly how long it lasted, one week. DeShone Kizer has once again been named the starter and nobody has batted an eyelash, mostly because he has amounted three touchdowns and nine interceptions in five starts. Tennessee looked adequate at home against the Colts and they should keep it rolling facing off with the winless Browns.
Pick ‘Em: Tennessee Titans
Spread: Tennessee Titans (-5.5)
TB @ BUF
This was the year some though Tampa Bay would breakout, but that hasn’t held true. With two wins on the season against the Chicago Bears and the New York Giants, the Buccaneers are undoubtedly struggling. Buffalo fans are still diving through plastic tables at tailgates, while their team is 3-2 with impressive wins over Denver and Atlanta. The Bills mafia is tough to overcome at home.
Pick ‘Em: Buffalo Bills
Sperad: Buffalo Bills (PK)
CAR @ CHI
Cam Newton was just heating up until the Eagles beat the Panthers in Carolina last week, while the Bears are coming off of an overtime win in Baltimore. Chicago’s star-child Mitchell Trubisky dazzled by completing a whopping 8 of 16 passes for an astounding 113 yards and one touchdown, truly amazing. There is plenty of time for him to develop, but stop hyping him in the meantime. Cam Newton will show Trubisky what it’s like to be a number one overall pick instead of being number two.
Pick ‘Em: Carolina Panthers
Spread: Carolina Panthers (-3)
JAX @ IND
It has to be really, really hard being a Colts fan. With or without Andrew Luck, this team is bad. For the first time in a long time, Jacksonville is decisively better than Indianapolis on the football field. Leonard Fournette and a tough defense is all the Jaguars really have, which is still more than the Colts have to offer. Also this game will feature one of my BONUS BETS, which you can read about at the end of the blog.
Pick ‘Em: Jacksonville Jaguars
Spread: Indianapolis Colts (+3.5)
ARI @ LAR
The Cardinals season has been an absolute roller-coaster ride so far. Losing David Johnson for a significant part of the season, overtime wins, blowout losses, and now Adrian Peterson leading an already ancient offense. We are six weeks into the season and I still have no clue how to grade this team. Grading the Rams is an easier task, as they have heavily over-performed thus far this season. Los Angeles’ defense should run laps around the Arizona offense, securing a win.
Pick ‘Em: Los Angeles Rams
Spread: Los Angeles Rams (-3.5)
NYJ @ MIA
If you were looking for this weeks’ toilet bowl, here you go! Nothing screams AFC East football quite like Josh McCown and Jay Cutler taking the field on a Sunday afternoon. The only thing that could potentially make this game watchable is a Jay Ajayi breakout game. When these two teams met in September, he had 11 carries for 16 yards. Things are truly looking up here.
Pick ‘Em: Miami Dolphins
Spread: Miami Dolphins (-3)
BAL @ MIN
The Baltimore Ravens are one of the many 3-3 teams in the NFL that I have no idea what to think about. Despite bad losses and good wins, this team is trending downward. Losing at home, to the Bears, starting a rookie quarterback? Bold strategy for John Harbaugh. Minnesota’s morale on defense is at an all-time high after breaking the NFL’s best quarterback’s collarbone and manhandling backup Brett Hundley.
Pick ‘Em: Minnesota Vikings
Spread: Baltimore Ravens (+5.5)
DAL @ SF
Another week, another extension to the appeal of Zeke Elliot’s six-game suspension. Elliot starting his suspension this week would have been the 49’ers only chance of winning probably. That won’t stop San Fran from attempting to cover the spread, which they’ve been masters of this year. Despite their 0-6 record, the 49’ers are 4-2 against the spread. Zeke doesn’t care, Zeke will run the ball….a lot.
Pick ‘Em: Dallas Cowboys
Spread: Dallas Cowboys (-6)
SEA @ NYG
The Giants did the unthinkable last week. The winless team went into Denver and beat an elite defense and a not-so-elite quarterback. Seattle had a chance to rest and prepare with a bye week so they have zero excuses to lose this game. Eli Manning going up against another star-powered defense this week should give the fans some prime Manning-face on the sideline.
Pick ‘Em: Seattle Seahawks
Spread: New York Giants (+5.5)
CIN @ PIT
It’s nice to see Todd Haley and the Pittsburgh Steeler offense figure it out. Instead of throwing 30 or more times (like they’ve done the first five games of the year), they let Le’Veon Bell takeover and it helped them knock off the NFL’s last undefeated team last week. This week, they will have Vontaze Burfict and the Cincinnati Bengals defense trying to concuss every single Pittsburgh player and start as many fights as possible. As long as Big Ben hands the ball off, the Steelers should be fine.
Pick ‘Em: Pittsburgh Steelers
Spread: Pittsburgh Steelers (-5.5)
DEN @ LAC
Hyping up Denver was a stupid mistake last week. I trusted Trevor Siemian, of all people, to beat the Giants and he couldn’t even do that. “But their defense is so elite, defense wins championships.” That’s fine and all but when you give up 23 points to Eli Manning with none of their starting wide receivers or running backs, that’s not a good look. The Chargers should have won the first matchup between these two earlier this season, and they shouldn’t let it happen again.
Pick ‘Em: Los Angeles Chargers
Spread: Los Angeles Chargers (-1.5)
ATL @ NE
If someone blows a lead in this game, the internet is going to lose its mind. The Super Bowl rematch between these two teams should be fun, especially for Julio Jones. He should easily exceed the four catches and 87 yards he had in the Super Bowl earlier this year. The 28 year-old is 6’3” with a 38.5” vertical jump. He should be able to jump up and get the ball every single play if he wanted to. For New England, they will need to revert to deflated balls and stealing signals if they hope to slow down Atlanta.
Pick ‘Em: Atlanta Falcons
Spread: Atlanta Falcons (+3.5)
WSH @ PHI
Two weeks after being heckled by a fan, Terrelle Pryor and the Washington Redskins have the pleasure of listening to Philadelphia fans on Monday night. Which NFL genius decided Philadelphia fans need an entire day to inebriate before going to face a divisional opponent on national TV? Beat writers for both teams could have red-hot twitter feeds throughout the game, so stay tuned.
Pick ‘Em: Philadelphia Eagles
Spread: Philadelphia Eagles (-5)
BONUS BETS:
-Jacksonville and Indianapolis were rumored to be spotted in this section. Leonard Fournette has an injured ankle and might not play and the Indianapolis offense hasn’t been promising. That’s why I’m taking the UNDER in this game (44).
-The Rams have shown week after week that they are a force on offense now. It took Arizona a few weeks, but they finally showed us what their offense can do, especially with Adrian Peterson starting in the back field. These teams will clear the OVER this week. (46.5)
View From The Bench 